“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
I cannot stress enough the importance of building self-trust. To build trust with others, we must first start with ourselves. A lack of self-trust will undermine our ability to trust others. Although friends and family may be there for us, ultimately we have only ourselves to count on.
Here are some ways to help in the building of self-trust.
Trusting ourselves starts with the little things. Each time we make and keep a commitment to ourselves and to others, we increase our self-respect and self-confidence. Do not make commitments or promises impulsively. We must think before we commit to be sure it is something we can fulfill. And, don’t say “yes” to something if we really mean “no.”
Have you ever stopped to consider how credible you are to yourself and to others? Are you as trustworthy as you want others to be? Do your words and actions match? Are you someone that others trust? Credibility increases and deepens connections with others, but it must start with you and your actions. If you can’t trust yourself, why would anyone else trust you?
A trusting relationship is based on our consistent credibility over time. Honesty, integrity and congruence coupled with well-intended motives and behavior demonstrate a trustworthy character. Our competence is evidenced by a track record of visible results from our natural talents, skills, knowledge and personal style.
We tend to get what we expect and permit. When we expect more, we tend to get more; when we expect less, we tend to get less.
The real test of self-trust is, who are we when nobody is looking. Are we trustworthy? Can we really depend on ourselves to keep commitments, large and small? And, if we can’t rely on ourselves, why would we know how to trust someone else?
Trust is not about being perfect. It is about being credible and consistent over time. Knowing that we can rely on someone to be honest and accountable, no matter what, is priceless.
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“Trust is like the air we breathe. When it’s present, nobody really notices. But, when it’s absent, everybody notices.”